Just because he’s mean to you doesn’t mean he likes you…

The other day I received a new post notification from a blog I follow called Chicken Nuggets and Elmo. She’d posted a link to blog post, which I read and although I’m not one for reblogging as such, I felt it was such an important post, that I shared it with Danni and suggest we should link to it to. Being a Mumma of two girls, she readily agreed.

The post really got me thinking about the times I was bullied in high school. I spent a fair bit of my school time miserable (and probably quite miserable to be around). On the plus side, I became quite good at playing the saxophone (that used to be my Mad Skillz, Mrs Smyth) because I locked myself away in a practice room of the music block most lunchtimes. To avoid confrontation with the nasties…

When I moved onto college (year 11/12 for those Americans who call University, College, what is with that?) elsewhere, I felt like a new person, I blossomed. I discovered I had a sense of humour, I wasnt ugly, and yes some boys even DID like me, and it wasn’t by calling me names or putting yoghurt in my bag and school shoes whilst I was playing sport. They were nice to me, dated me, respected me. And as Mumma to a gorgeous 11 month old boy, that’s how I want him to treat the girls (or boys if that is how he’ll want to roll) that he likes – and all other people too.

So today, we’re providing a link to this post in our blog, because we both think it’s an important subject for parents and educators of boys and girls alike… So if you haven’t already read Views From the Couch post – “You didn’t thank me for punching you in the face”, head on over and check it out. Please!

FYI – there is some colourful language on this post, those of you that don’t like may want to use your discretion when reading…

How do you want your kids to treat and be treated by others? What do you think of the line “Oh that must mean he likes you” that girls often get fed when a boy is mean or hurts her?



  1. Well done! Thanks for sharing this. I’m glad you guys thought it was as important as I did.

  2. library geek in trainingAllison says:

    So proud of you Mel for putting this out there, especially seeing I know how much you have struggled with this yourself. While I have never looked at it from this perspective it is spot on…..it should not be acceptable and there should be zero tolerance for that type of behaviour. I hope you and Danni never have to go through this with your baby girls!! Love you guys xxoo

  3. Its very important! We need to teach our children to respect and be respected. I read it and i loved it and I think the more people that read it, the better.

  4. a) Grand article. Love love love it.
    b) I knew you had Mad Skillz. I KNEW IT.

  5. As a mother of a 10 month son, I’m so determined to teach him how to be a respectful, honorable and happy man. I want him to be a gentleman. I want him to *know* that you don’t pull girls hair if you like them.
    I’m so glad I read this, thanks Melina and Amy. I too remember those days and being told “he does it because he likes you” I remember being SO confused about it at the time. Why is he mean to me if he likes me?!

  6. Hum mm….as a Mum & grandma, I am trying to remember if I delt out this shitty line? I hope not! One of those things that I had not looked at in the light of long-term negative detrimental social conditioning! Crap! Now I have guilt! BUT, as a survivor of a long ago abusive relationship, my son knows that treating others -women, me, disabled – with respect and dignity is a must….or he has ME to answer to! (and he better be wearing protective gear of his own! Lol!)

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